You've probably heard of mindfulness as a way to deal with depression, anxiety, and other emotional difficulties. In this article, I want to teach you a specific form of it called detached mindfulness. Many people find that practicing it helps them feel less distressed and more at ease.
What “detached” means
The term "detached mindfulness" was coined by the clinical psychologist Adrian Wells, who also developed Metacognitive Therapy. As the name suggests, it has two parts.
"Detached" means seeing your thoughts — words, images, and beliefs — as something separate from who you are at your core. At your core, you are the observer of your thoughts, not the producer of them. Thinking about something doesn't mean you agree with it or approve of it. With this approach, you treat thoughts as harmless, separate from reality, and separate from you.
What “mindfulness” means
The second part, "mindfulness," means being aware of your thoughts without reacting to them. If a disturbing thought shows up, you don't need to do anything about it. You notice it, and you don't try to push it away or control it.
Detached mindfulness isn't a way to distract yourself, or even a way of coping. It's a "do-nothing" strategy. It's like watching clouds pass through the sky: they come and go without you needing to do anything.
It also helps with the habit of worrying and going over things again and again. Not reacting means you don't need to analyze your thoughts, and you don't need to worry about imagined future scenarios. Whether a thought seems realistic doesn't matter here. Accurate or not, it's still just a thought, and it doesn't need more of your attention.
Think of how you might handle a child having a temper tantrum. Often the child wants attention, so even scolding them gives them what they want. Sometimes the best thing to do is let the tantrum happen, watch it, and not react. Distressing thoughts work in a similar way: they want attention, and the more attention you give them, the stronger they get.
Try the tiger task
To get a feel for detached mindfulness, try an exercise called the tiger task.
1. Close your eyes and picture a tiger.
2. Don't try to change the image in any way. Just watch the tiger and what it does.
3. The tiger may move, but don't make it move. It may blink, but don't make it blink. It may swish its tail, but don't make it do that.
4. Notice that the tiger has a behavior of its own. You're doing nothing but watching.
Then ask yourself: did you make the tiger move, or did it happen on its own? If it moved on its own, you just experienced detached mindfulness. The tiger is a thought in your mind, separate from you, with a behavior all its own.
Now ask: could you treat your other thoughts the same way, including the negative ones that show up on their own?
The goal isn't to make thoughts go away. It's to let them come and go while you watch, without getting pulled in.
The more you practice detached mindfulness in everyday life, the more natural it becomes. Many people find it brings them less distress and more inner peace.
